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Saturday, August 24, 2019
  • It’s true that more parents are changing the way they’re raising their children, abandoning the traditional rewards-and-punishment approach while learning to connect with their children. The outcome is win-win, rather than endless ...
  • Shame undermines the most important part of ourselves, that which believes we are enough, that we are seen and heard and deserving. Our childhood influences — family dynamics, the values we learned, the way we were raised ...
  • Q: A few of us moms were talking about ways we punish our kids, how angry they make us. We were venting about their behavior overall. We thought it would be good to send you a question, or a request, to give us some advice on the ...
  • Q: With the end of school, I took my daughter to Portland overnight. Just a fun girls’ trip to spend some time together before the summer schedule starts. We haven’t been getting along well so I thought this would help. Instead it was awful ...
  • Since I was remiss in submitting this before Father’s Day, I hope fathers everywhere enjoyed special time last Sunday with their children. Fathering is quite different today, transforming from the legacy of our patriarchal culture....
  • Q: I just visited my family out-of-state and returned home again feeling not good enough, embarrassed by how I’m raising my kids. Although only my youngest was with me on this visit, my parents made more than enough comments ...
  • We all need to decompress from difficult situations at times — to take deep breaths, to gain our composure and regroup. These “time-outs” help us recalibrate. This is just as important for parents as it is for children. Yet frequently ...
  • Our children change our lives. We welcome them into the world, we raise them, we celebrate their successes and feel their pain when they struggle. There’s the agony and elation of sibling relationships. We “catastrophize” any bad behavior ...
  • As the story goes, when very young girls are asked what they would like, they feel free to answer honestly. Then when they reach pre-adolescence, they begin losing their voice, deferring to others to make the decision. Some girls ...
  • Q: We’re struggling with our two kids and I’m not sure why. My husband and I are both professionals, providing solid financial security, a beautiful home, with our kids having everything they need and much more. I just don’t understand ...
  • Q: I am having a really hard time with my 6-year-old daughter. She’s glued to my side and wants to be with me wherever I go. She doesn’t want me to leave her at bedtime now either. Being the youngest (she has two older siblings) ...
  • Q: I’ve been going through a contentious divorce. I have two daughters, ages 5 and 2-1⁄2. As a loving, involved dad, I’m very concerned about how the divorce has affected my children. My older daughter has become more defiant when ...
  • Depression and anxiety seem to be on the rise within our young generation. Too many families are haunted by depression, tracing it back multiple generations. I’m listening to enough kids in my practice with increasing anxiety ...
  • Q: Our family has been pretty fried with the college applications. My son isn’t taking it as seriously as he should, and we’re worried he won’t get in anywhere. He stays up late but can’t seem to get anything done. He is wasting ...
  • Falling in love is transformational. Everything seems more alive — colors are more intense; people are kinder, happier; life is easier; problems evaporate. Valentine’s Day provides a chance to revisit that idyllic time of first love ...
  • Parent Question: My kids are always fighting. I guess maybe not as much as it seems, because they do play well together some of the time. Their fighting really upsets me. I yell at them both, but more at my older son, because I know he causes ...
  • Parent Question: I have two kids, one in middle school and the other in high school. My oldest doesn’t seem to understand the importance of doing well in school and being responsible, and I’m worried that he won’t make it to a good college. . . .
  • Entering the kitchen, Sarah says: “My mom would never make something like that for dinner!” Scowling, she skips off into the living room, ignoring her stepmother Jill’s attempts to engage her. With a deep sigh, Jill reflects on the many . . .
  • Regrets — we all have them, for one reason or another — avoiding difficult conversations, deferring addressing a problem, a misunderstanding that festers for a while, yet seemingly is diminished by time and collusion. Then one day, it . . .
  • Q: The holidays were pretty hard for my family, or at least for me being around my family with some neighbors. We always have people to our house on Christmas Eve, when the rest of my family is staying with us. It got really awkward . . .
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