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Sunday, September 26, 2021
Sunday, December 20, 2020 9:10 PM
Click on the headline above to access the archive for Judith Hatch-Orme’s “Kids & Families First” column.
  • Q: I always tend to rush in to protect my kids from making mistakes or being disappointed with failures they could have. My husband keeps telling me I don’t hold them accountable, that I lower my expectations so they won’t be challenged.... 
  • Possibly a few of the comments resonate with you. These situations all have the same thing in common: one person has the “power” and control, keeping family members living in fear, as they know all too well how tenuous the peace is....
  • I have been following your column for a long time and some things you said about our past have kind of clicked with me. My husband thinks I have some blockages with past trauma, but I don’t know what it would be
  • I guess estrangement is on the radar for many people, considering the comments and questions I’ve received since my last column. There are certainly difficult relationships with other family members, and with friends as ...
  • When we reach adulthood, we are all someone’s “grown children” — daughters and sons of, hopefully, well-meaning, loving and devoted parents. With that comes a legacy of multigenerational patterns of behavior, attitudes and emotions
  • Q: At a recent family gathering, two of my adult children became involved in a dispute that escalated to angry accusations and hurtful remarks. As their mom, I stepped into the middle of the situation to try to smooth things over, which ...
  • Although I’m writing this before Father’s Day, this won’t be published until several days after June 20th. How seriously we think of fathering is something I wanted to consider. Traditionally, our patriarchal culture has promoted men ...
  • The same question with parenting comes up repeatedly: “I don’t know how to talk to my kids so they’ll listen, and how do I listen better so they’ll talk to me?” The struggle to perfect communication usually indicates parents are ...
  • I believe there are many influences challenging our intimate relationships — multigenerational trauma and patterns, our genetics, family-of-origin dynamics, childhood experiences, attachment styles, temperament, and ...
  • Relationships can be challenging at the best of times. We all want attention from our partners: to be seen, heard and understood. Often, getting those needs met, with the daily demands of work, children, chores and multiple responsibilities ...
  • Remember when your parents coerced you to say the two magic words “I’m sorry” because of something you did or said? Did you suffer guilt or remorse? When children grab someone’s toy, hit their sibling, or do other undesirable ...
  • Q: I’ve had some upsetting situations lately, I guess during COVID mostly with people working at home and using social media and emails more. I feel like a few of my friends haven’t been very sensitive at times, by saying things ...
  • We’ve experienced different life-changing outcomes from the last year of imposed isolation — some negative, others positive. Having more time for self-reflection, a slower pace and fewer demands has been a blessing for some, while ...
  • Q: My kids are 15 and 18. I’d like to know how to have mutual respect and trust with them. I’m not sure either of them is very trustworthy, because we often have incidents that undermine my trust. I just thought it would help us to ask ...
  • Q: I have been having really frustrating conversations lately with my adult daughter. She seems more angry with me and unwilling to listen and accept my advice. I see her and her boyfriend making some mistakes that my husband ...
  • Next Sunday is Valentine’s Day. What will happen depends on the strength of our commitment to the everyday work of love — more importantly, to understanding the how of love. If we were to focus less on the flowers and chocolates ...
  • While we may fantasize about having a peaceful, calm household, free of sibling suffering, the only way to prevent the inevitable rivalry is to have just one child. Children will always have their power struggles, yet siblings are ...
  • Is there anything more frustrating or distressing for parents than sibling rivalry? The question repeatedly asked is: “How can I stop my kids’ fighting?” Whether it’s an intact family or two homes after divorce, sibling dynamics can ...

  • Q: The entire holiday season has made me feel like I’m just swimming against the current. It’s been really hard setting boundaries with my family, trying to keep my kids and husband and me safe and healthy. Not just family, but some ...
  • With the prevailing circumstances bringing such hardship to so many, it can be difficult to embrace the holiday spirit. While it’s certainly uplifting to observe the beautiful decorative lights transforming area homes and businesses ...
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