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Friday, January 17, 2020
  • Q: I think I read in one of your articles that sometimes parents and their kids might not “fit” with their temperaments. I think I have a bad fit with my 4-year- old son, because he’s driving me crazy. He reacts to loud noises and ...
  • What was once a time for connecting with family and friends — with cookie exchanges, crafting decorations, goodwill, while enjoying the simple pleasures of a festive season — now seems to be overshadowed by stress....
  • Q: This is a very hard time of year. I don’t know what to do about my kids’ out-of-control behavior. It’s stressful. They believe in Santa, so we lie to them. We’ve introduced the Elf on the Shelf, so when they’re bad, I tell them ...
  • “He’s always doing this to me!” “She’s out to get me, knowing just how to push my buttons!” “Why does he have to behave this way?” Our chronically scheming child, coming up with endless strategies to manipulate his parents! ...
  • Helping children learn about limits and power and giving in requires parents to discover their own limits and the importance of staying out of their business. The children are screaming … again. Their fight has escalated suddenly ...
  • Q: My kids have shown too much anxiety at different ages, which keeps coming up again at different times in various situations. They’re pretty young (7, 5, 3, with my youngest only 19 months). I wish I understood what’s going on ...
  • Q: My daughter is soon going to have her permit, but I am having a hard time not using it as a consequence for completing work with effort. Her grades are generally very good and she’s in honors classes but from time to time they ...
  • Q: I’m recently divorced, although separated for over a year and a half, with two young children. I’m dating someone I’d like to introduce my kids to, so we can all spend time together and eventually move in together. I get lots of unsolicited ....
  • Q: I have a 2-year-old and am pregnant with my second child. I’m growing more scared with everything I read about teen disrespect, drugs and vaping, and all the kinds of bad behavior of older kids. I’m not sure what I can do or how ...
  • With school once again in session, nourishing, restorative sleep is essential for children. Insufficient sleep is easy to overlook as the cause of our child’s “mis”-behavior. School is demanding, particularly at the start of a new fall semester ...
  • As we approach the shift from summer vacation to school, students and families will resume a more demanding pace. This transition can trigger anxiety in children of all ages. Starting with preschool, many children will experience ...
  • It’s true that more parents are changing the way they’re raising their children, abandoning the traditional rewards-and-punishment approach while learning to connect with their children. The outcome is win-win, rather than endless ...
  • Shame undermines the most important part of ourselves, that which believes we are enough, that we are seen and heard and deserving. Our childhood influences — family dynamics, the values we learned, the way we were raised ...
  • Q: A few of us moms were talking about ways we punish our kids, how angry they make us. We were venting about their behavior overall. We thought it would be good to send you a question, or a request, to give us some advice on the ...
  • Q: With the end of school, I took my daughter to Portland overnight. Just a fun girls’ trip to spend some time together before the summer schedule starts. We haven’t been getting along well so I thought this would help. Instead it was awful ...
  • Since I was remiss in submitting this before Father’s Day, I hope fathers everywhere enjoyed special time last Sunday with their children. Fathering is quite different today, transforming from the legacy of our patriarchal culture....
  • Q: I just visited my family out-of-state and returned home again feeling not good enough, embarrassed by how I’m raising my kids. Although only my youngest was with me on this visit, my parents made more than enough comments ...
  • We all need to decompress from difficult situations at times — to take deep breaths, to gain our composure and regroup. These “time-outs” help us recalibrate. This is just as important for parents as it is for children. Yet frequently ...
  • Our children change our lives. We welcome them into the world, we raise them, we celebrate their successes and feel their pain when they struggle. There’s the agony and elation of sibling relationships. We “catastrophize” any bad behavior ...
  • As the story goes, when very young girls are asked what they would like, they feel free to answer honestly. Then when they reach pre-adolescence, they begin losing their voice, deferring to others to make the decision. Some girls ...
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