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Friday, July 20, 2018
Thursday, July 19, 2018 8:55 AM
Do you hear that? Listen carefully. That low-frequency rumble … that’s the sound of zucchini growing in your neighborhood. And it might be coming to get you. Many people have vegetable gardens where I live, and one thing the gardeners have . . .
  • To most people, rags are just that: a piece of waste cloth that can be used to wipe up a spill. Some people have little respect for rags. That’s not how it is in my house. A lot of people will not understand what I am talking about here. . . .
  • Certainly I am not the first person to recognize that there is essentially a curse associated with the blessing of being handy. Handy implies having a broad array of skills which can address common problems. You can be skilled at electronics or . . .
  • It turns out that the Fourth of July really falls on July 2nd, but, just like Christmas, it’s too late to re-educate everyone and change all the calendars, banners and songs. As important events recede in time, it is difficult to get . . .
  • Once again I have to revisit this matter about nighttime leg cramps mostly because my legs keep reminding me that it’s still an issue. Since I last mentioned it we have made great progress detecting gravitational waves and finding . . .
  • Now that the dog is gone and my wife and I have accepted our “empty nest” situation, it appears that the vacuum has caused a disturbance in nature and as a result we have suddenly “acquired” a chicken. We were simply eating breakfast on . . .
  • It’s been more than a year since I picked up my dog and loaded him into the back of my wife’s car who took him to “the farm” to ostensibly live out his days. “Ostensibly” is a great word because it means “apparently or purportedly . . .
  • Warm weather is upon us and construction season is in full swing. Construction season is defined as that period of the year when you can’t find a contractor or tradesman for love or money. Okay money — for sure, as I haven’t . . .
  • Do you like black pepper? I know I do. So does my wife. I started this love affair with pepper in college when I discovered that a healthy dose of pepper could retroactively extend the expiration date of hamburger well into the next semester. . . .
  • Biking season is finally back and, no, it’s not the same as “open season” on bicyclists where you take a bead on a roadside cyclist to see if you can clip their elbow with your passenger-side rear view mirror. . . .
  • This was supposed to be a column about how the universe functions at its tiniest level because that’s what I’ve been reading about for quite some time. However, for all my effort the only thing I have learned that I know to be true is that . . .
  • We were sitting around the dinner table when my wife got a notice on her new smartphone. It was apparently from some nice robot at Google who was just on idle with nothing better to do and so it assembled a collection of photographs . . .
  • The other week I was sitting at the table before dinner minding my own business and perusing the pages of The Free Press, a stellar midcoast Maine newspaper that was the first to carry my column when, all of a sudden. . . .
  • As I have already explained, I have a new smartphone. This replaced my centuries-old flip phone which I can’t help point out was much more like the Star Trek “communicators” than are any of the new smartphones. Anyway, having . . .
  • A long time ago when I had a regular job, income tax filing was a pain. You would have to get your hands on the right form, transcribe your annual income from a W-2 and send it in to await your tax refund check. God forbid you . . .
  • People ask why it’s taken me so long to start using a smartphone. Truth be told, I was afraid the phone would realize it is much smarter than I am and start bullying me around using vocabulary I don’t quite grasp and sarcasm . . .
  • The late winter storm piled up 23 inches of snow, which prompted the airline to send us an e-mail that our flight to Florida had been pushed back a day. Fair enough, but the next morning it was still snowing and we had to drive through . . .
  • As you already know, everyone is excited because the last Monday in March is Seward’s Day, when we celebrate that wild and crazy Secretary of State, William H. Seward, who served Presidents Lincoln and Johnson. . . .
  • The visceral differences between tape and ribbon have intrigued me since the Nixon administration. Kind individuals have let me know that this is altogether too long a time and I should let it go, but tape is certainly a curious thing. . . .
  • Daylight Saving Time is upon us again and before you start complaining about adjusting your clocks, we should look at history for some perspective. Back at the turn of the previous century around 1908… you remember 1908 . . .
  • There is always a lot of talk about what form of government we have or the sort of government that is trying to topple us or the kind we are attempting to overthrow. It’s all very complicated so here is a handy guide to some types of governments . . .
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