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Saturday, November 18, 2017
Had your fill of winter already? Visit Hawaii with Free Press Columnist Tom Sadowski as he wanders those Pacific tropical isles in search of ... well, take a look and see. . . .
  • Thanksgiving will be upon us in short order and after a great deal of hand wringing, I’ve decided to go public with some very sensitive information with the hope that doing so will prevent the abduction of my across-the-street neighbor . . .
  • People often quietly ask me in church, especially during the homily, where the closest liquor outlet is located that’s open on Sunday — but that is not where I am going with this. Occasionally they instead ask where I get . . .
  • With the outdoor construction season drawing to a close for those of us who no longer dance on scaffolding in the ice and snow, it’s time to review our tool collection in the interest of making it more efficient, safe, or in some cases . . .
  • In the world of electrical equipment, fuses hold a special spiritual rank because they are known as “sacrificial devices,” designed to be obliterated in the event of a malfunction for the good of the remainder of the circuit, some other . . .
  • When I put my car in reverse after giving up on waiting to exit a parking lot, I managed to touch bumpers with a car that I failed to see come up from behind. Immediately I jumped out of my car, looked for any damage and profusely . . .
  • Occasionally I come down with an “adult” cold. These are serious kinds of colds as opposed to a kid’s cold. When the kids are infected, they generally go sailing through each day, bouncing off walls, noses dripping, freely distributing cold . . .
  • Reviewing my writing, I find a disproportional number of my sentences start with the word “it.” This is an embarrassing realization for a writer as it’s almost the same as discovering that you write no better than a 13-year-old who . . .
  • My telephone rings. I answer, “Hello.” Sometimes I do not say hello because I have come to believe that saying hello triggers responses from automatic dialers known as robocallers and I would rather listen to the silence of a robot . . .
  • To assuage my fear that “Talk Like a Pirate Day” may fall into obscurity, I am hereby reminding everyone to be prepared for September 19th, the official International Talk Like a Pirate Day. For the last few years Krispy Kreme, a major . . .
  • A hospital worker from Chicopee, Massachusetts, recently won $758.7 million playing Powerball. But let’s be real and accurate: if you deduct her $2 up-front ticket cost she only won $758,699,998. This was the largest jackpot ever . . .
  • You might rightly accuse me of not having tried enough oysters as I have never had a good one. My experience is limited to eating a half dozen oysters over the last twenty years. I will on rare occasion try one but . . .
  • It seems that I only get asked to write letters of recommendation for people who have trouble taking out the trash and then finding their way back to work on the same day
  • Chasing Down the Great American Eclipse of 2017
    Apparently, planning a trip where the ultimate goal is to intersect with the Great American Eclipse along its very narrow “path of totality” requires a bit more planning than getting into the car with a valid credit card and a can of Pringles to munch on along the way
  • Just Saying . . . Don’t Look Now! The Total Solar Eclipse Is Coming.
    As you already know, a total solar eclipse is coming August 21, 2017 — but not to your neighborhood if you live in Maine, as I do. Our turn to have a backyard total eclipse happened on July 20, 1963, when the moon cast its shadow . . .
  • As you may already know, I shy away from writing about political folderol. Perhaps it’s because I have been just as bewildered as you, staying up late and reading all I can, trying to make sense of the shenanigans playing out in our nation’s . . .
  • Still groggy at the breakfast table, I looked up from my coffee. There she was: too close for me to focus on and looking me straight in my good eye. I saw her lips move and then I heard the words “I got a hankering to go to the Pittston Fair.” . . .
  • Of course all of you know that Parents’ Day this year was observed on Sunday, July 23rd. How many of you received or sent cards? Uh huh. I thought so. That’s okay. The cards are pretty lame. They have clever sentimental sayings like . . .
  • If you remember, last week we addressed the importance of writing your own obituary. If you’re having trouble remembering, maybe it’s time to double down and get that autobituary written before you can’t remember other things . . .
  • One of the first things we do at the Association of Formerly Interesting Men’s annual conclave is to review obituaries that any members have written about themselves. We believe it is important to write your own obituary . . .
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